8.31.2007
Best of Craigslist 1.3
hot shot, & sex pot - m4w - 35
Reply to: pers-410112570@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-30, 4:31PM CDT
Me 5 foot nothing, drving an '89 IROC Camaro, denim neck to toe. Collar popped and my Italian Wish horn smothered in dark greasy chest hair and dark tanning oil. You A blonde haired Peg Bundy with a cuter smile and lots more eye make up. Just wondering if you wanted to exchange numbers and show eachother our leopard print.
All relationships should be built off of this kind of honesty.
8.27.2007
Study Break
Obligato - being forced to practice
Metronome - short, city musician who can fit into a Honda Civic
Lento - the days leading up to Easto
Largo - beer brewed in Germany for the Florida Keys
Piu Animato - clean out the cat's litter box
Con Spirito - drunk again
Colla Voce - this shirt is so tight I can't sing
Improvisation - what you do when the music falls down
Prelude - warm-up before the clever stuff
Flats - English apartments
Chords - things organists play with one finger
Discords - thing that organists play with two fingers
Suspended Chords - useful for lynching the vocalist
Time Signatures - things for drummers to ignore
Melody - an ancient, now almost extinct, art in songwriting
Klavierstuck - A term used by German furniture movers attempting to get a piano through a narrow doorway.
Music Stand - An intricate device used to hold music. Comes in two sizes - too high or too low - always broken.
Tonic - A medicinal drink consumed in great quantity before a performance, and in greater quantity afterwards.
Dominant - What parents must be if they expect their children to practice.
Concert Hall - A place where large audiences gather, for the sole purpose of removing paper wrappings from candy and gum.
Sotto Voce - singing while drunk
Agogic - playing high enough on an oboe to make the eyes bulge.
Cadenza - slapping noise on office furniture
Fandango - grabbing the pull chain on the ceiling fan
Prima Volta - jump start with a battery
Refrain - proper technique for playing bagpipes
Smorzando - with melted chocolate and marshmallow
8.25.2007
You see, Wednesday wasn't just any other day. It was my first day. That's right. The newbie's making a Scrubs reference.
I know I've been a silent member of this blog, but I had my reasons. Once upon a time, in a state far far away, in the before time, the long long ago, I was just a small town girl, living in a lonely world…oh, wait. No I wasn't. I was an avid Jeopardy! watcher, someone who'd maybe join a casual game of Trivial Pursuit. I was never fixin' to join the high-stakes world of bar trivia.
But, this past Wednesday, I finally left my apartment of solitude to join the well-oiled machine that is hotgradstudents. Seriously folks, if you looked up "team" in the dictionary, you'd find a picture of HGS. They were as fine as cream gravy. Here are a few of the night's highlights:
Alistair LaQuisha Spiritrunner pulled out "Shoot the Moon." Hot damn, but that gal was slicker than a greased soap bar.
paranthesis (girl) showed off her mad skillz at 80's music. (Spandau Ballet? Hoooo doggie!)
lemur catta knew the answer to every geography question devised by man. Boy howdie, he could sit on the fence and the birds would feed him.
GTA Feghoot revealed his penchant for memorizing the IMdB. I always said that boy could talk a film critic outta a balcony.
neurotic wonderboy proved that white kids do love hip-hop. He may be as shy as a mail-order bride, but he's as sharp as Jim Bowie's knife (God rest his Texican soul).
As for this Texan gal, I may have been as nervous as a whore in church, but I feel I gave it my all. If anything, I finally found validation to my life-long accruement of random crap (er, information). I mean, who'da thought I'd ever be able to utilize my knowledge about where most of the Summer Olympics were held? And here my Momma thought I'd come to no good in this big city of sin and debauchery.
All in all, the night was as a success, even though traveling through that weather was as fun as milking an ill-tempered goat. The wind was blowing like perfume through the prom. HGS may have finished in second place, but don't count us out. We're riding a gravy train with biscuit wheels. After all, next Wednesday is another trivia day.
For real, y'all.
8.20.2007
the Department Comic #1
8.19.2007
Quiz League III (Hot Grad Students 2.0) and Gosh! Wow! A Celebrity Sighting!
As the league will go on and as the HGS continues to rotate members in and out, the more exciting news for the week comes from Friday night, when parenthesis (girl), GTA Feghoot, Lone Star Writer (who is a member of the blog and may or may not join Team-O Supreme-O -- stay tuned, America!), and someone we'll call The Acclaimed Author of The Da Vinci Code were all minding our own business and beverages at the Vox when, wouldn't you know it, the Milwaukee Qu?zmaster and his entourage came in. The MQ came over to greet us, introduced himself to our friends as "Hi, I'm Ryan, but you can call me the Qu?zmaster," and he put his hand on GTA Feghoot's shoulder (insert high-pitched squeal here). He and his entourage seemed to be on a pub crawl (sorry, everyone who thought they would haunt the Vox from now on awaiting the arrival of the MQ) and didn't stay long, but while they were there engaged in, from what we could tell, some drinking game involving The Police song "Roxanne." What a night that was!
OK. Now back to posting bogus Craigslist personal ads for neurotic wonderboy to discover.
8.17.2007
Best of Craigslist 1.2
Reply to: pers-397371270@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-14, 11:24PM CDT
I saw you tonite playing pool with a pink ballerina tutu and you had grayish skin. You reminded me of one of those hippos from fantasia. You danced so angelic. Please, I hope you were not scared that I had on a zorro mask. I can't help it sometimes..... i want to be mysterias......i will see you again soon..
I want to party with these 2.
8.14.2007
Quiz League, Grand Finale: We'll Be Singing When We're Winning (Pissing the Night Away?)
The Milwaukee Qu?zmaster, not to be outdone, sported a fauxconut bra and a grass skirt as he promoted an exercising apparatus that apparently gives you maximum results through minimal use. The quiz for the finale, as promised, was MASSIVE: 102 points were up for grabs. The HGS came to play too, capturing 94 of those points. Damn refrigerators of the 1920s! The HGS did remarkably well this quiz, finding a way, either through plain luck or actual knowledge, to answer correctly nearly all the questions worth 5 points or higher. That's what put us on top this week. We knew we had to perform well, as we secretly knew, through our own calculations of the league's adjusted scores, that we were 2 points down to Team-O Supreme-O going into Saturday night.
Here are some of the highlights:
The substitute for violet, Kathleen, helped out a lot on things like the Jordan flag, Oscar-nominated actors, the oeuvre of Michael Jackson, and the refrigerator question (which we got wrong, but she led us to a more appropriate incorrect answer).
neurotic wonderboy totally knew Jacko's song "Ben" and could spot Vinny Testaverde in a crowd of New England Patriots.
lemur catta has an obscene knowledge of geography and can draw lines between words. He totally rides the walrus.
parenthesis (girl) loves the (boy) bands, and knew most of 'N Stynk. And she's also really good with geography letter questions. And spelling.
Mister Ray had the extremely serendipitous foresight to research the work of Oasis--and, wouldn't you know it, a massive question about Oasis came up. He's our Wonderwall.
Alistair knew a whole lot of stuff and also looks really good in a bathing suit.
Feghoot really only knows about James Bond, so he didn't really do much. Also, he was on the team with probationary status, so he couldn't really do much.
So 94 points--we won, right? Wait a minute. Hold your seahorses! The extra bonus round involved karaoke--we were to be judged on originality, enthusiasm, and entertainment value--and the MQ would be our Simon Cowell! Any team vying in the league HAD to participate. How did we do, you ask?
The HGS performed a rousing rendition of Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" to the delight of all the other teams and patrons. Well, that's not actually how it happened. We were booed off the stage. We so could have used William Hung that night. The MQ exposed our one weakness--actual talent. Everybody did better than we did at karaoke. But come on, we didn't enter a karaoke league--we entered a trivia league! So we can't sing, but we could tell you what "karaoke" means in Japanese (What do you mean it doesn't mean "divine wind?" That's "kamikaze"?!? Well, we did crash and burn).
The HGS did achieve this Saturday a new status of celebrity/infamy at the Brit Inn. Some team (?) turned in an answer sheet with the name "Hot Grad Students Suck and Need to Get a Life," or something to that effect. We had many and varied reactions to this which ranged from "That's a shrewd insight" to "mockery is the sincerest form of flattery" to "you like us, you really like us" to "look, ma, top of the world." While we may be hated, it says something that a team (?) would go out of its way to name their own team an insult toward the HGS. Ah, the price of fame!
Congratulations to both Team-O Supreme-O and the Van Buren Boys for doing well and for being very tough competitors (as well as all the other teams, including HGSSANTGAL). Well, we kinda have to like Team-O Supreme-O, seeing that one of their members is married to one of ours. And the Van Buren Boys are our chums--we go way back to week one of the league. Dan Van Buren reminded HGS of the VBB's official stance towards us: "We hate you, but we don't really hate you." That's all we ask. What should the HGS's official stance on the Van Buren Boys be? How about "We think we like you." This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship. Allons, enfants, de la patrie...
So where does HGS go now? These ten weeks have been brutal (not to mention the five or six hours we spent at the Brit Inn this Saturday) and with school starting in a few weeks (at last, the HGS can finally get a life, but they may still suck!) AND with the next Brit Inn Quiz League commencing immediately it's difficult to gage what our commitment to this trivia sparkle-motion will be like. Do we want to defend our title to the bitter end? Do we want to come every week but not take it as seriously? Or do we want to return periodically, to see if we'll still get booed, to look upon the arena of our former glory?
Tune in next week! Same Hot Time! Same Hot Channel!
And team members, can the alternate team name post get a little love?
8.10.2007
Hot Grad Students Sound-Off: Alternate Team Names
To help get things started, GTA Feghoot will offer a few:
"To All My Slaves: See You In Hell!"
"Oh, the Humanity!"
"To Julie Newmar, You're Welcome, Wong Foo"
"Yeti, Set, Go!" ("Ready, Set, Yeti" is also acceptable)
"I'm Sorry. I Thought You Was Corn."
"The Soviet Urine" (as a tribute to our Milwaukee Qu?zmaster)
"Zach Braff? More Like Zach Barff...Zing." (So it's already taken--it's still a great team name)
Your turn. Sound off...now.
8.09.2007
Quiz League, Week Nine: Inevitabilty
Feghoot spent three idle days with the HGS last week but was designated for assignment on Saturday to clear a roster spot for Alistair LaQuisha Spiritrunner's return from Las Vegas. Feghoot started the season with HGS and went 8-0 on James Bond questions before suffering a brain injury in late July.
Entering the pub quiz league, History and Politics was thought to be HGS's strong suit, but No. 1 trivia team member lemur catta landed on the disabled list and the four other starters -- neurotic wonderboy, violet, Mr. ARO, and Alistair LaQuisha Spiritrunner -- have, for the most part, failed to go as deep into games as manager parenthesis (girl) expected they would.
That fact has taxed a trivia team that was boosted by Spiritrunner's arrival but nonetheless has struggled since (winless since week five). At the same time, roster management decisions have forced the team to part with a number of great minds.
"We still feel comfortable with what we have," manager and team captain parenthesis (girl) said. "There are still guys [at Triple-A Marquette] that we can push up if we need to."
So, anybody who reads this, bid GTA Feghoot a fond farewell as he attempts to salvage some dignity in the minor leagues of triviadom. That's right--he'll be watching Jeopardy at home alone from now on.Good luck, Hot Grad Students. May you finish second, at least.
8.08.2007
Carelton Grange Pub Quiz: The Hot Grad Students Moonlight, or: Whose Wedding Is This?
Well, the pizza was very good, and the beer selection not great ("oh, we don't really have St. Georges Ale, although both our menu and website say we do"--come on, guys, it's called updating), so we were subjected to something called "London Pride" (which the Qu?zmaster claims is the best beer ever, but which the HGS claims is only slightly better than Bass), and the quiz was held in some special room that looked like it was reserved for some lame wedding reception. The Carleton Grange itself was nice, despite its blue-haired old-folks' home appeal. Dude, we were the youngest ones there by thirty years--these patrons made the HGS look really young, and that's saying something, because, you know.
On the whole, the masquerading HGS did very well with only two members, especially since all the other teams had about 6 to 8 members. Highlights: getting the Pakistan and the the South Africa questions correct, as well as knowing the capital of Hawaii. What killed us, and what could have killed any team, were the ridiculous questions concerning the ordering of various things, like which musical artist has had the most #1 singles in America, or which countries have the most international tourists. Those questions are not so much trivia as they are based on pure luck or chance--unless you know exactly the top 5 countries with the most international tourists, or if you're able to identify them correctly, you're not likely to guess the top 5 correctly, even with options. Since there was about four questions like that, the faux HGS was unable to do well, even though we were competitive. Perhaps if we had more people on the team. Who knows? I'm talking to you, other HGS members.
Will HGS return to the Carleton Grange for trivia? Perhaps, but most likely not as HGS. I have a feeling that the HGS as we know it is no more. What does "trivia" mean anyway?
What was special about this night had nothing to do with the trivia teams, but had everything to do with our beloved Milwaukee Qu?zmaster. It is fitting that the surroundings at the Carleton Grange resembled a wedding, since both parenthesis (girl) and GTA Feghoot witnessed a marriage--that of the Milwaukee Qu?zmaster and his destiny, "marriage" in this case meaning "any close or intimate association or union." The MQ's 1st appearance at a bar that is not the Brit Inn implies the first step to stardom, to celebrity, to the "no-looking-back" stage. The two of us witnessed this Tuesday night the MQ being more than just the MQ--he has become a corporate entity. The MQ officially commodified himself. Will life ever be the same?
He has become, officially (!), larger than life. Some trivia teams (which will be left unnamed) may want to ride his coattails, but does the HGS? We don't make much money, that's for sure.
Damn straight.
8.04.2007
Best of Craigslist 1.1
"Wednesday night landmark love---
You: messy dark hair and dirty white T shirt.
Me: skinny with a knife in my purse. "
I have messy dark hair!