Quiz League, Grand Finale: We'll Be Singing When We're Winning (Pissing the Night Away?)

So this past Saturday, parenthesis (girl), neurotic wonderboy, GTA Feghoot, Mister Ray (formerly known as "someone we'll call Mr. ARO," and, at one point, "Prince Adam"--that's right, he finally joined the blog), Alistair LaQuisha Spiritrunner, lemur catta, and someone we'll call Kathleen (a new recruit for the M.I.A. violet this week), constituting the mighty Hot Grad Students quiz league team of the Brit Inn Summer Quiz League 2007, went "overboard" for the Beach Party theme of the Grand Finale, bringing with them a beach towel, an inflatable fun ball, a bucket of leis, snorkels, a plush dolphin our waitress Christine christened "Possum," water wings, a "water noodle," ukuleles, sunglasses, tanning oil, hula girls, hawaiian shirts, bermuda shorts, haitian hockey jerseys, jamaican bobsleds, a Spuds McKenzie impersonator, coconuts, a suckling pig (which we roasted table-side), and a mid-size yacht (which we parked outside on Oakland Avenue) for the occasion.

The Milwaukee Qu?zmaster, not to be outdone, sported a fauxconut bra and a grass skirt as he promoted an exercising apparatus that apparently gives you maximum results through minimal use. The quiz for the finale, as promised, was MASSIVE: 102 points were up for grabs. The HGS came to play too, capturing 94 of those points. Damn refrigerators of the 1920s! The HGS did remarkably well this quiz, finding a way, either through plain luck or actual knowledge, to answer correctly nearly all the questions worth 5 points or higher. That's what put us on top this week. We knew we had to perform well, as we secretly knew, through our own calculations of the league's adjusted scores, that we were 2 points down to Team-O Supreme-O going into Saturday night.

Here are some of the highlights:

The substitute for violet, Kathleen, helped out a lot on things like the Jordan flag, Oscar-nominated actors, the oeuvre of Michael Jackson, and the refrigerator question (which we got wrong, but she led us to a more appropriate incorrect answer).

neurotic wonderboy totally knew Jacko's song "Ben" and could spot Vinny Testaverde in a crowd of New England Patriots.

lemur catta has an obscene knowledge of geography and can draw lines between words. He totally rides the walrus.

parenthesis (girl) loves the (boy) bands, and knew most of 'N Stynk. And she's also really good with geography letter questions. And spelling.

Mister Ray had the extremely serendipitous foresight to research the work of Oasis--and, wouldn't you know it, a massive question about Oasis came up. He's our Wonderwall.

Alistair knew a whole lot of stuff and also looks really good in a bathing suit.

Feghoot really only knows about James Bond, so he didn't really do much. Also, he was on the team with probationary status, so he couldn't really do much.

So 94 points--we won, right? Wait a minute. Hold your seahorses! The extra bonus round involved karaoke--we were to be judged on originality, enthusiasm, and entertainment value--and the MQ would be our Simon Cowell! Any team vying in the league HAD to participate. How did we do, you ask?

The HGS performed a rousing rendition of Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" to the delight of all the other teams and patrons. Well, that's not actually how it happened. We were booed off the stage. We so could have used William Hung that night. The MQ exposed our one weakness--actual talent. Everybody did better than we did at karaoke. But come on, we didn't enter a karaoke league--we entered a trivia league! So we can't sing, but we could tell you what "karaoke" means in Japanese (What do you mean it doesn't mean "divine wind?" That's "kamikaze"?!? Well, we did crash and burn).

The HGS did achieve this Saturday a new status of celebrity/infamy at the Brit Inn. Some team (?) turned in an answer sheet with the name "Hot Grad Students Suck and Need to Get a Life," or something to that effect. We had many and varied reactions to this which ranged from "That's a shrewd insight" to "mockery is the sincerest form of flattery" to "you like us, you really like us" to "look, ma, top of the world." While we may be hated, it says something that a team (?) would go out of its way to name their own team an insult toward the HGS. Ah, the price of fame!

Congratulations to both Team-O Supreme-O and the Van Buren Boys for doing well and for being very tough competitors (as well as all the other teams, including HGSSANTGAL). Well, we kinda have to like Team-O Supreme-O, seeing that one of their members is married to one of ours. And the Van Buren Boys are our chums--we go way back to week one of the league. Dan Van Buren reminded HGS of the VBB's official stance towards us: "We hate you, but we don't really hate you." That's all we ask. What should the HGS's official stance on the Van Buren Boys be? How about "We think we like you." This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship. Allons, enfants, de la patrie...

So where does HGS go now? These ten weeks have been brutal (not to mention the five or six hours we spent at the Brit Inn this Saturday) and with school starting in a few weeks (at last, the HGS can finally get a life, but they may still suck!) AND with the next Brit Inn Quiz League commencing immediately it's difficult to gage what our commitment to this trivia sparkle-motion will be like. Do we want to defend our title to the bitter end? Do we want to come every week but not take it as seriously? Or do we want to return periodically, to see if we'll still get booed, to look upon the arena of our former glory?

Tune in next week! Same Hot Time! Same Hot Channel!

And team members, can the alternate team name post get a little love?