HGS 2.0: So hot the hens are laying hard-boiled eggs

Some trivia questions for y'all:

What is hotter than a summer revival?
What is hotter than a burning stump?
What is hotter than a honeymoon hotel?

Answer: Hot Grad Students!

With an impressive forty outta forty-four points, HGS won round four of the Britinn pub quiz. Yippee-kay-yay! Not only that, but HGS scrambled up the league ladder to claim second place, knocking 26 + 6 = 2 into third and My Dick Has More Bend Than David Beckham's Freekicks outta the champions' booth. Watch out Van Buren Boys, we're a'comin' for you next! Remember, there're two theories to beatin' HGS, and neither one works.

For all ya sports fan out there, here's the night's highlights:

parenthesis (girl) pulled Electric Six outta that massive brain of hers. That gal's as hot as the hinges of hell.

lemur catta knew the Whigs were created to oppose Andrew Jackson (AKA Rat Bastard). Damn, but he's as hot as a two-dollar pistol.

GTA Feghoot cleaned up the film and teevee section once again. That boy's as hot as a preacher's knee.

Mister Ray knew that the Kroeger brothers are part of Nickelback. Whooooeee, but he's as hot as fur coat in Marfa.

And LSW? As luck would have it, I brung mah new-fangled laptop to the Britinn. Me and parenthesis (girl) looked up last minute soccer info. That's how we knew where the last three World Cups was held. I guess that makes me as hot as a stolen tamale. And since I got to the Britinn so early I saw the sun kiss the sky, I was given the honor of takin' our winnins – a bottle a Vincent Van Gogh Raspberry Vodka – backta mah humble abode. As a true-blue Texan, I'd rather drink sarsaparilla, but ah guess that commie stuff'll do alright.

In stupid news, Weirdbeard continued his hecklin' of HGS when he flipped off parenthesis (girl) in a weird foreign sorta way. Hey Weirdbeard, we know ya gotch ya issues, but don't hang ya wash on someone else's line. Being a sore loser only makes ya look like ya just fell off the watermelon truck. Shoot but iff'n that boy's as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.

In bonus news, here's some HGSisms of the night:

"Who smells like bacon?"
"The nickel was right!"

Oh yeah baby. In case ya didn't notice, we are hot, hot, hot.